’Twas the night before SPCX, and all through the Street
Not a trader was sleeping — too wired to eat.
The charts were all glowing, the rumors were loud,
Every SpaceX employee already felt proud.
The brokers were pacing, the analysts stressed,
While Elon was tweeting, “Tomorrow… we test.”
The interns were Googling “How to be rich,”
And Reddit was certain this IPO’s glitch‑free switch.
The bankers were polishing pitch decks with care,
In hopes that a trillion‑dollar open was there.
And I in my hoodie, with caffeine on drip,
Was mapping out sympathy plays for the rip.
When out on the tape there arose such a clatter,
I refreshed Level II to see what was the matter.
A pre‑market rumor shot straight through the air:
“SPCX pricing UP — better tighten your hair!”
The micro‑caps trembled, the satellites shook,
Even QQQ gave the futures a look.
Tesla went vertical, then sideways, then back,
As traders yelled “Gamma!” and clutched every stack.
Then what to my wondering eyes did appear?
A thousand new millionaires grinning ear‑to‑ear.
With a rocket‑built ticker so shiny and slick,
I knew in a moment this thing would trade quick.
More rapid than Falcons the buy orders came,
And Elon whistled and shouted each rocket by name:
“On Starlink! On Dragon! On Falcon and Crew!
On Raptor! On Booster! Let’s send this thing through!”
The bell soon would ring, the chaos would fly,
As SPCX blasted straight into the sky.
And I heard him exclaim as he soared out of sight:
“Happy IPO to all — and to all a green night.”
SMELLS LIKE RAIN — Chuck Humor
